Will-Wonka's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Tiger_Chick's Secret]

Well, let's see. Where to begin?

"As always when reviewing movies, CLock Crew or otherwise, I feel I must dispense some constructive critism whther or not the quality of said movie, the movie being reviewed herein thusforth referred to as "the movie", speaking of the quality, when making Flash movies it is clear that in the process of creating tweens yet I must emphasize that even though this movie was cleary intended to be crappy, as such, I enjoy hearing myself speak but I can't be entirely sure that when the Clock Crew submits a movie it is always good to remember that to appreciate the full lack of talent I am drawn towards this ham sandwich the power of what strikes me as odd is that the incredible always with the mass voting yet I don't understand what makes you want to be part of such a lame internet another review under my belt victory on the internet is a precious commodity now where was I ah yes the...flashing intro that without a preloader a sprite movie is simply not entertaining the grade I would give you as such in the case of this movie, whereas a rivalling submission would not get daily feature if you would just listen to my advice it is imperative for the goal of getting your movie past judgement that you keep in mind let
s face it you will nver win an award if you important to stick with is that separating your animation in layers will also help you keep a tidy library while an imported music file once compressed can my life truely be this empty I suggest you watch some movies and look at the obituraries there is a saying how about you use this time to your advantage in the greater scheme of things I can see how this fits where did your preloader go back to the drawing board unless you're willing to listen to my advice in which case I do reccoment you thoroughly investigate your options and try to keep an open mind here while sticking with...
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Transcribed by the scholar Willius Wonkus, for his report to the Grande Commitee on Ephemeral Reviews, AD 2005.

[151515]

Um...

Clocks are kookie... Maybe if I vote 0 and give you a 10 you'll leave newgrounds alone?

[BB - Introduction]

Block Band?

Thornberry, what's with the new 'crew?

Anyways, a good flash. Nice graphics, sound was audible and understandible, and the plot was sufficiently humourous. Keep up the good work!

-WW

ThornBerryBlock responds:

othudyr.
k.

[The Inglor Dance]

Happy Inglor Day!

Wonderful song, unique and creative. The artwork was astonishingly good, as well. And it was funny too. To boot, it explains the whole INGLOR phenomenon. All in all, that makes this flash very cool. Happy Inglor Day! :)

[Inglor Sighting]

Hilarious!

Short... And I don't know what 'Inglor' or 'Inglor Day' is.. but I found this flash quite funny. Keep up the good work!

[How Clocks Ruined NG]

One of the better anti-Clock movies I've seen...

REVIEW
The graphics, style, and sound were all n00bish; but it was obvious that you were trying to make a point about Clock flashes, so I'll give you a 5 (because, even though it was intentional, I still didn't like it much. So, instead of giving you a 2 for all those, I gave you a 5 :) ). No violence. Interactivity... I pressed a play button, so it gets a 1. Humor, quite an amusing jab at the clocks, heh heh, overflowing the portal. lol.

COMMENTARY

I'll have to put in a good word for the clocks, though. I'd say that 'official' clocks (that is, those who frequent CC.net) are slowly improving their craft. If a n00b makes a crappy flash movie, the clocks will blam it (because a: it hurts the 'crew's reputation, and b: it's crap). If it is so-so, then they'll give it a so-so rating. And if its great, they'll fifen. That's how most people vote for movies, right? On any day besides clockday, a crappy movie (whether clock or not) will be blammed. The only reason movies are mass-portected on that day is because many non-clocks assume that the clocks will mass-5, and so it will pass anyways, and so they want a free protection point... Ironically, the end up saving a movie that would not have been saved by the 'crew.

There shouldn't be a double-standard for clock/non clock movies, like 'if its a clock movie, then it better be top 50 material, or its spam'. That's just silly, don't you think? I mean, you don't read reviews saying thing like 'OMG I fUking h8te M@r10 m0vees, why d0 u sTo0pID pEePs k33p sp@mming teh p0rtal with th3m??1'. And yet, poor quality mario flashes and clock flashes in general are produced at an equal rate (IMO). Yet, there are very few anti-marioers in the portal who hate movies with him simply because some people make crappy flashes featuring him. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? <3

-Will Wonka

SlikRik19 responds:

Well, no, not really. But anyway, thanks for a relatively good and honest review. I realize perfectly well that this movie is completely n00bish, and I meant it that way.

I'll agree that some clock movies can be incredibly good. One of my favorites is BananaBeard II, Act 1. However, many clock movies are crap, and many of them get passed to NG, not just on Clock Day.

About Clock Day, actually, I think you are mistaken. For example, Clock Day 05, I actually tried blamming a few movies, then realized they were all getting scores of 3.5 and higher. Also I saw a bunch of reviews by people like, wtf, how is this at 3.55!! its crap omfg!@!!!11. So I'm guessing there were a bunch of people actually trying to blam em, but doing so unsuccessfully because the of the MASSIVE amount of Clocks that were 5ing.

Eh, watever.
Thanks for a good honest review. Always appreciated.

-SlikRik
F-KREW Mischief Maker